Part II
Part II - The First PPE (Rejected)
(Or: The One Where Everyone Explains the Wrong Thing Very Clearly)
Bruce did not cry again.
This was not because things had improved, but because Bruce had entered the next stage of emotional processing: administrative numbness.
George, to his credit, had not forgotten the incident. He remembered it vividly, mostly because Bruce had cried onto him.
“So,” George said one morning, clipboard in hand, “Henry says we should, uh… write it down.”
Bruce looked up.
“Write what down?”
“The problem,” George said, with the air of a man who had used that word many times without ever having to define it.
The First Attempt
George and Henry sat down together to “capture the issue.”
They agreed on several important points immediately:
- Something was wrong
- People were unhappy
- Orders were not smooth
- Cheese was involved
They disagreed on why.
Henry opened a document.
“Let’s start with a summary,” he said.
George nodded. “Make it clear.”
Henry typed.
Problem Summary: Our current order systems are outdated and inefficient, causing confusion, delays, and frustration across teams.
George smiled. “That sounds right.”
Bruce, who had been invited “for colour,” frowned.
“That’s not really-” Bruce began.
Henry waved a hand. “We’ll get to details.”
They moved on.
Who Is Affected: Everyone.
“Good,” said George. “Very inclusive.”
Next section.
Initial Evidence:
- Staff frustration
- Missed orders
- General inefficiency
- Morale issues
Bruce raised a finger.
“Do we have… numbers?” he asked.
Henry paused.
“Well,” he said, “we feel it.”
George nodded. “Strongly.”
They continued.
Additional Notes: Recommendation: Implement a unified order management system to streamline workflows and improve visibility.
Bruce closed his eyes.
The Review
The document made its way upward, as documents do.
Eventually it landed in Bob’s inbox.
Bob read it carefully.
He read it a second time.
Then he replied with a single sentence.
“I’m not clear what problem this is actually describing.”
A meeting was scheduled.
The Rejection
Bob sat at the head of the table holding a printout of the document.
He tapped it lightly.
“This,” Bob said, “appears to be several things.”
Henry leaned forward. “It’s about efficiency.”
“And morale,” George added.
“And systems,” Henry said quickly.
“And cheese,” Bruce muttered, too quietly.
Bob looked at the Recommendation section.
“Why,” Bob asked, “are we proposing a solution?”
Henry blinked. “Because that’s what we need?”
Bob sighed.
“I don’t know if we need that,” Bob said. “I don’t even know what’s broken. Is this an IT problem? An operations problem? A people problem?”
He flipped the page.
“Also,” he added, “what does any of this have to do with cream cheese?”
No one spoke.
Bob put the document down.
“I’m rejecting this,” he said. “Not because the situation isn’t real - it clearly is - but because this doesn’t tell me what the problem actually is.”
He slid the paper back across the table.
“Try again,” Bob said. “This time, describe what’s happening. Not why you think it’s happening. And definitely not what you want to build.”
Bruce felt something unfamiliar.
Relief.
End of Part II.